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Managing Expectations

Why do we get upset when someone doesn’t do something that we expect them to do YET we never asked them to do it in the first place? We just expect them to do it because “they should know better” or some lame ass excuse like that.

There once was a great story I heard I think from my marriage counsellor LOL about how a couple in their 80’s were filing for divorce and when they met with the counsellor as a last resort to try and save the marriage, the husband says “I don’t understand, I love her very much and I do everything for her.” And the wife retorts, “no you don’t! You always give me what you don’t want like when you make toast you cut off the crusts and give them to me!” The husband looked completely surprised and uttered his response, “but the crust is the best part of the bread and you have never asked for the other parts.”

We all have expectations for everyone around us. For our children, our spouses, partners and friends but are these expectations actually ruining our relationships with them? Some would argue that it is impossible to not have expectations because we are human after all. OK..so what if we manage our expectations. The best example I can think of is about lending money to people. When I lend money to people, I don’t expect to see it back ever again, that way I don’t waste my energy on chasing the money but if it does get repaid, it’s like a bonus! What I am trying to say is expectations are what ruins friendships and relationships. We want, we expect and when those expectations are not met EVEN IF WE HAVE NEVER TOLD THEM WHAT OUR EXPECTATIONS WERE in the first place, they affect us negatively. Well that’s shitty don’t you think?

I am going to suggest to my readers now that we curb our expectations, totally get rid of them. Set an intention every morning to accept the

things that will happen today as they are suppose to happen and be at peace with them even if at that moment the event is not a pleasant one. Maybe at that moment we are unable to see a different perspective of that crappy situation that didn’t turn out as per our “expectations’ but in hindsight it was EXACTLY what needed to happen in order to push you in the direction that is way more rewarding than expected!

 

Love and Peace,

Elaine

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